Human Behaviour

5 Dec

‘Human Behaviour’ is a gloriously mad song by the gloriously mad Bjork.

I wanted to be a journalist back in the day before I really understood how dangerous and competitive a job it would be. I don’t have what it takes to pry into somebody’s business and destroy their lives for the sake of a story.

I keep abreast of the news and like to read the comments by the readers. The quality of  Australian news media leaves a lot to be desired. The newspapers recyle the same trash and ‘The Age’, once a respected paper, is almost on par with the very right wing, biased rag ‘The Herald Sun’. ‘The Australian’ is probably the only paper worth reading for Melburnians but it’s not easily accessible. Papers in the other states are just as bad.

The following list seem to be topics that are discussed nowadays are (in no particular order). Some actual, real news would be nice for a change.

1. Whether or not smoking should be banned in outside of restaurants/sidewalks/public places in general. I’m a non-smoker but feel rather sorry for the smokers. Smokers have the right smoke their coffin nails in peace

2. Should marijuana be legalised. I roll my eyes whenever I see this topic as it’s pulled out every few days. I did see a debate about legalising ecstasy recently so maybe they’re moving onto harder drugs.

3. The pay packets of CEOs. Jobs are cut and the proles struggle yet they still earn huge salaries.

4. Gillard vs Abbott. Or Gillard vs Rudd. Or mix it up a bit with Bailieu, Carr and others. And whatever problem Australia has now, blame it on Gillard. Politician hate has always been fashionable and our first female Prime Minister is especially disliked.

5. Housing prices. Sky rocketing and those meanie banks keep raising interest rates.

6. Should teachers be paid more. Occasionally they’ll be very controversial and ask whether or not nurses or police should be paid more. Prepare for the whinge from teachers about how much they work and having to deal with ratty kids.

7. The death of retail. It’s the government’s fault, take your pick of which. Be prepared for complaints about customer service, how cheap things are online and why can’t Gerry Harvey just shut up. Oh, and of course it’s the government’s fault.

8. Whether or not Australia should stay a monarchy or become a republic. Australia still wants a monarchy but when things are quiet, this topic is a good standby.

9. Should gays be allowed to married. Occasionally they’ll push the envelope further and ask gays should be allowed to adopt. Prepare also for a religious debate here. And homophobes are kinda funny in an awful way.

10. Whether or not Australia is a racist country. Oh boy, this is a fun topic. Throw the term ‘bogan’ around a bit and you’re set.

11. Asylym seekers and immigration and general. It’s seen as a drain on our resources and those who come over are seen as savage ingrates. Oh and they supposedly steal jobs from the locals. The media fuels the paranoia, omigodtheyretakingover.

12. The laws of other countries. Bali and Indonesia get a fair bit of coverage due to some silly tourist bringing drugs into the country and being harshly punished for it. Of course we Aussies think that our laws are the only ones that matter.

13. The Myki fiasco. Myki is Melbourne’s troubled transport smartcard system that has become a national joke due to its delays and immense financial cost.

14. Getting rid of the pokies. Gambling addiction is a problem but the pokies are a soure of revenue for the government so it’s unlikely they’ll get rid of them any time soon.

15. Compulsory immunisation of children is the latest hot topic. Prepare for pop science from both sides.

16. Centrelink benefits and teen mothers. Teen mothers are living it up on government benefits and shows like ‘Teen Mom’ from America don’t help matters.

And some other great topics to recyle are taxi drivers who don’t take passengers, overseas call centres, carbon tax, delayed flights, ipads, internet filters, abortion, euthanasia, etc.


2 Responses to “Human Behaviour”

  1. Lottie Eve December 7, 2012 at 11:33 pm #

    The behavior of humans never ceases to amaze me…or make me laugh out loud.

  2. Buffy the hipster slayer December 13, 2012 at 1:34 pm #

    You’ve just saved me from reading the Courier Mail for the next 6 months – thanks 🙂 Us Aussies, eh?!

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